I don’t really know how to describe it.  I feel awful about my existence and its unwanted attachment to this period in my life.  Dumb day, dumb decision over dumb choice not to do the right thing.  I just sicken myself thinking of the scum i was to to both of you. Yes both of you. I know both of you read my tumblr all the time. I know both of you come back to check and see if ive updated anything. im sorry from the depth of my existence and i sware on the beautiful friendship we all used to have, ill never do it again. but both of you please just talk with me about this. i miss us all being a family. it literally makes my heart ache every night i go to sleep. i want things to go back. just this one summer. lets all go back. please. just let me have you both of in my life……what am i supposed to do?……………………………I would die tonight if meant i could hug both of you in my arms one more time.